Through my sonnet, LIVE, I wanted the reader to see that snowboarding is a great metaphor that can be used to illustrate many aspects of life. Most of the stanzas from the sonnet are self-explanatory for explaining the sport of snowboarding (which of course is the topic), but need further analysis in order to relate it to life. The sonnet opens with the line, “The ride down may seem a vertical drop.” This is the initial image and feeling that you get as soon as you reach the top of that mountain and start your descent to the bottom.. In life, the ‘vertical drop’ symbolizes the feeling of free falling or having no control over yourself. “It's scary at takeoff” not only symbolizes the initial feeling of snowboarding, but the start of something brand new. It’s rocky at first, but if you apply yourself, getting the hang of it will just come naturally. This next line, “You'll feel the rush,” adds on and emphasizes what the previous line is trying to say. When you begin new things in life, it may be hard to adjust and you might feel bombarded. On the slopes, this ‘rush’ comes in the form of falling down. However, “never collapse and don't psyche yourself out.” This line means that just because you’re having a bad day (in the real world or in the snow) don’t give up and think that you can’t do it. Instill positive things in your mind and keep on going. “Before you know it, it will all be slush.” Slush symbolizes that the snow is melting and, therefore, the ending of winter. This line translates to, “Before you know it, the hard times (and feelings of being overwhelmed/bombarded) will be over.”
“Gliding through the powder of taking a fall, one must experience the ups and downs.” This line is self-explanatory for snowboarding; sometimes you’ll wipe out and other times you’ll cruise through the powder with no problem at all. In life, gliding through the powder is like relaxing and enjoying yourself. Taking a fall is like making a mistake or encountering a problem; something that holds you back. At any stage of your life, you are experiencing ‘ups and downs’. In order for you to enjoy and appreciate the good times, you must go through bad ones. “When limbs impact the snow, bounce back, stand tall.” This line translates into ‘when you fall, don’t let it get to you. Just bounce right back and continue on’. This same goes for mistakes in life; try not to let that bad choice eat away at you. It may be hard, but the best thing to do is to keep moving on and put it in the past. Sooner or later, “you'll find yourself sailing right through the mounds.” Eventually, everything will get back on the right track and you will learn to put whatever it was behind you.
“A subtle turn can lead to a new place.” This stanza is basically saying that you don’t have to search very far in order to find something new. New and interesting things are always close by, whether you realize it or not- and that’s definitely true when snowboarding on top of a huge mountain. The next line “with unmarked obstacles hard to measure” symbolizes not only the unmarked terrain on the mountains, but the obstacles we come across every day in life. The hard to measure part is just saying that the size of each obstacle differs. “These impediments take you on a chase” simply means that curiosity lures you to follow. These ‘impediments’ are those unmarked obstacles. Humans by nature love to explore the unknown. “But don’t slow down, or you'll miss the treasure.” On some parts of the mountain, there are slight hills which you need speed to get over. if you slow down, you wont be able to get over them and you’ll end up having to take time and unstrap your board and walk over instead. The same goes for life activities, keep going with it with a positive attitude and in the end you’ll gain something. If you have a negative attitude about, it will only slow you down.
“Sure, snowboarding brings me joy and pleasure, but it illustrates life's great adventure.” In the bigger picture, snowboarding relates in many ways to life. If you have the right attitude on the mountain when you’re snowboarding or skiing, then you have the right attitude to get you through a lot of things in life, you just have to apply it. The ride down the mountain is just as enjoyable and thrilling as the ride through life.
2 comments:
Sonnet
Gliding through the powder of taking a fall, One must experience the ups and downs. When limbs impact the snow, bounce back, stand tall. You'll find yourself sailing right through the mounds. The ride down may seem a vertical drop. It's scary at takeoff; you'll feel the rush. Never collapse and don't psyche yourself out. Before you know it, it will all be slush. A subtle turn can lead to a new place With unmarked obstacles hard to measure. These impediments take you on a chase, but don’t slow down, or you'll miss the treasure. Sure, snowboarding brings me joy and pleasure, but it illustrates life's great adventure.
The idea of your sonnet is really great. Using the techniques and experiences from snowboarding as a guide on how you should live life is a nice touch. I underlined and bolded some things. The word “but” was used twice at the beginning of two lines, so I just recommend using taking one out. That way it won’t be repetitive. Also, I think in poems and sonnets the first letter of first word in each line should be capitalized, but I’m not sure. After “It’s scary at takeoff,” there should be a semicolon instead of a regular comma because the next part of the line “you’ll feel the rush” is a complete sentence, so if you want to connect these two sentences without a conjunction you should use a semicolon. Just one more thing; I think you should stay away from using the word “me” in a sonnet because instead of having the reader relating the sonnet to their life, they are reading a story about you. I think that may be what is making this line weaker than the others. Replacing that one word could make the sonnet that much more effective. Other than these few things the sonnet was great!
-Lenora
Analysis
Through my sonnet, LIVE, I wanted the reader to see that snowboarding is a great metaphor that can be used to illustrate many aspects of life. Good start! Most of the stanzas from the sonnet are self-explanatory for explaining the sport of snowboarding (which, of course, is the topic), but need further analysis in order to relate it to life. The sonnet opens with the line, “The ride down may seem a vertical drop.” (The sonnet doesn’t open with this line). This is the initial image and feeling that you get as soon as you reach the top of that mountain and start your descent to the bottom.. In life, the ‘vertical drop’ symbolizes the feeling of free falling or having no control over yourself (I want to hear more about this). “It's scary at takeoff” not only symbolizes the initial feeling of snowboarding, but the start of something brand new. It’s rocky at first, but if you apply yourself, getting the hang of it will just come naturally. This next line, “You'll feel the rush,” adds on and emphasizes what the previous line is trying to say. When you begin new things in life, it may be hard to adjust and you might feel bombarded. On the slopes, this ‘rush’ comes in the form of falling down. However, “never collapse and don't psyche yourself out.” This line means that just because you’re having a bad day (in the real world or in the snow) don’t give up and think that you can’t do it. Instill positive things in your mind and keep on going. “Before you know it, it will all be slush.” Slush symbolizes that the snow is melting and, therefore, the ending of winter. This line translates to, “Before you know it, the hard times (and feelings of being overwhelmed/bombarded) will be over.” (Very descriptive, I like it. Going sentence by sentence really helps the reader understand exactly the message you were sending through your sonnet).
“Gliding through the powder of taking a fall, one must experience the ups and downs.” This line is self-explanatory for snowboarding: sometimes you’ll wipe out and other times you’ll cruise through the powder with no problem at all. In life, gliding through the powder is like relaxing and enjoying yourself. Taking a fall is like making a mistake or encountering a problem; something that holds you back. At any stage of your life, you are experiencing ‘ups and downs’. In order for you to enjoy and appreciate the good times, you must go through bad ones. “When limbs impact the snow, bounce back, stand tall.” This line translates into ‘when you fall, don’t let it get to you. Just bounce right back and continue on’. This same goes for mistakes in life; try not to let that bad choice eat away at you. It may be hard, but the best thing to do is to keep moving on and put it in the past. Sooner or later, “you'll find yourself sailing right through the mounds.” (To me, the word “sailing” makes it seem as though you are trying to say it’s easy to keep moving and put things in the past, not difficult.) Eventually, everything will get back on the right track and you will learn to put whatever it was behind you. “A subtle turn can lead to a new place.” This stanza is basically saying that you don’t have to search very far in order to find something new. New and interesting things are always close by, whether you realize it or not- and that’s definitely true when snowboarding on top of a huge mountain. The next (instead of saying “the next line”, say something like “the following line” to change it up a bit) line “with unmarked obstacles hard to measure” symbolizes not only the unmarked terrain on the mountains, but the obstacles we come across every day in life. The hard to measure part is just saying that the size of each obstacle differs. “These impediments take you on a chase” simply means that curiosity lures you to follow. These ‘impediments’ are those unmarked obstacles. Humans by nature love to explore the unknown. “But don’t slow down, or you'll miss the treasure.” On some parts of the mountain, there are slight hills which you need speed to get over. if you slow down, you wont be able to get over them and you’ll end up having to take time and unstrap your board and walk over instead. The same goes for life activities, keep going with it with a positive attitude and in the end you’ll gain something. If you have a negative attitude about, it will only slow you down. (This is so true. This really relates to readers. ☺)
“Sure, snowboarding brings me joy and pleasure, but it illustrates life's great adventure.” In the bigger picture, snowboarding relates in many ways to life. If you have the right attitude on the mountain when you’re snowboarding or skiing, then you have the right attitude to get you through a lot of things in life, you just have to apply it. The ride down the mountain is just as enjoyable and thrilling as the ride through life.
Nice job on your analysis. It had a great voice throughout it, and the way you went in depth with topics like hard times, being positive, etc. In (parentheses) and italics I’ve commented on how you can improve this analysis and the strong parts. I did not understand, which line is your sonnet supposed to start with?
As you can see, I’ve also underlined and bolded some things here, in your analysis, so it is visible in my comment on your Blogspot. These things are just small typos I recognized. In the first paragraph, there were two periods after the line “This is the initial image and feeling that you get as soon as you reach the top of that mountain and start your descent to the bottom,” where there should be only one. In the middle of the second paragraph, there is the line “This same goes for mistakes in life; try not to let that bad choice eat away at you.” I think you meant to say “the” instead of “this”. The last typo is at the end of the second paragraph in the line “if you slow down, you wont be able to get over them and you’ll end up having to take time and unstrap your board and walk over instead” where the “if” should have a capital “I” because it is the beginning of a sentence.
-Lenora
Take a look at the last 2 lines. . .they simply describe what is going on. . . show the twist or how it might reflect life.
These are very important lines.
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